I’m sure it hasn’t escaped you that we are generally living a very hurried and packed-day lifestyle. The ever-increasing connectivity platforms, flow of information, and demands for our attention are just immense compared to even just 5 years ago. The amount of stuff we attend to, and the immediate expected response time to boot, tax our internal resources beyond ways we even recognize.
I’m acutely aware of this syndrome not only as it impacts myself, my wellbeing and productivity, but also as it is evident in the symptomology and collateral damage clients report. When we are so inundated with things to do and with information overload. When we rush from one meeting to the next, or one activity to the next. When we take on more clients that fit our schedule or projects that fit our work hours.
When we double and triple book our time with professional and personal commitments that we partially attend one to make another, or are constantly playing the choosing game. When we barely have time to grab a bite to eat and go to the restroom.
When we take on more commitments and responsibilities than we have the mental bandwidth to hold, process and work. When we don’t make any time for self care. What happens? Well, speaking from experience, the *s—t hits the fan, that’s what happens.
When we constantly operate from this taxed place, we are actually taxing other areas of our life… When we are not operating optimally, we don’t have the brain capacity to process information appropriately, to access our genius, to tap our creativity, to respond vs react, to connect to love, to feel compassion, to have a zest for life.
We are actually living on life support… We are barely Alive! What is the point of all this? We might say, we do these things to live a fuller life. But are we? Who are we kidding? All this is to what end? We drive ourselves into the ground. For what?
And, what is worse, we are teaching our children to do this. It is nauseating for me to watch the overscheduled household… When parents are running children from activity to activity, from event to event. I know someone who was once boasting that they had 7 parties they were attending in one weekend.
Really? That sounds like a lot of rushing around to me… Where is the fun? Where is the pleasure? What’s the point? I see parents pulling children out of sport games or practices to go to band practices, other sports practices, or something else. What?
Don’t get me wrong, if you’ve met me, you know I GO. So all this coming from me… There is no judgment here, just concern and compassion for those who still have this as their primary way of doing their life.
I witness people meaning well but hurting themselves and their loved ones without even realizing it. When we do all this rushing around and binging we miss the opportunity to Be with each other, to feel each other, to get each other, to be intimate. We miss the opportunity to Connect. We miss the opportunity of being touched by an interaction and enjoying the beauty in the moment. We miss the Meaningful.
When we do all this rushing around and binging, we are more stressed, we have more fights, we have more accidents, we hurt ourselves, we hurt others, we form poor habits, we get sick more often, we don’t have the internal resources available to do our relationship and life well, we just don’t enjoy our lot. We find that the joy, peace, pleasure, connection, fun and other wonderful experiences we desire elude us.
This makes for a miserable existence where relationships and families breakdown. Let’s stop the nonsense. Do we really need to do all we do? Do we really need to do it the way we do it? Do we really need to spend so much time going from one place to another?
Do we really need to have so much screen time – on social media, surfing the net, streaming apps (or watching TV), gaming, checking email, or however else we use technology? Let’s stop all this noise. Let’s chill-out.
Let’s build in transition time. Let’s build in quite time. Let’s build in recharge, self-care, grounding, being in nature, inspirational and personal development time. Let’s build in time enjoy the relationships and life we have. Let’s build in time to Be with each other. Let’s Be.
> Boundary setting and getting needs met:
I know it’s hard to build in all these extra kinds of time when we are already operating with a time deficit… That’s the conundrum people think they have… But this is an erroneous perspective. We all have the same amount of time. Yet some of us get a lot more accomplished, and with more ease and enjoyment, than others…
This is another example of where setting effective boundaries pays off. To be able to build in the kinds of time that make life enjoyable and worth living, we first need to the create space. We obviously can’t allocate time we don’t have to allocate…
We create space by letting go of commitments, projects, activities, responsibilities, redundancies, etc. through saying no, giving back, reassigning, pulling out, delegating, hiring out, crossing off, etc. And, we set additional boundaries that protect our time, our energy, and other resources…
This spaciousness in and of it self allows us to be more resourced, while making for better time allocation so we do live our life more fully. Let’s trend not rushing and binging, but chilling and Being.
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome and radiant relationship, and authentic and meaningful life…
Happy Chilling!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Take a moment to review your upcoming week. Not only take in the appointments and time commitments you made, but take in your workload, responsibilities, to-dos, etc. …
Note how you feel as you think of each item. Do they give you joy, frustration, a sense of doom, other? List the items you don’t feel so hot about.
Brainstorm ways to get out of doing them. This is not a ploy like getting out of doing H.W. or going to school for a day. Figure out how to eliminate each item from your catchment area. This can be a work in progress… Keep this lens on to keep reclaiming your time.
Don’t rush to immediately refill the space made… Enjoy the spaciousness and leave some spaciousness as you reallocate your time…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
